Dream

Im upset over what I dreamt. It seems so real....
Its been a long long time since he last appeared in my dream.
Did he come to see his grandson?.............

T.G.I.F

My sis with straight silky hair (haha) ~ (now she is in perm-ed hair)

So Cheezy

Jack Daniel Chicken Breast: It taste quite sweet

We both went town to get mooncake~ Its my 1st time dining @ T.G.I.F.
Last time can go shopping tgt with my sis...now very hard to squeeze out time to do that as both of us have kiddo~

Could things turn better?

Back to work for 3 weeks. Start picking up things....so far can cope ok.
Hope things will con'd to be smooth....

As usual, colleagues still saying I'm too quiet. *haha*

Daily lifestyle has been tough. I'm super tired. Have nite feeding to do~
SO sleepy...Dragging myself to work everyday!

But is still fun to have a baby....a child of ur own. You will look forward to each day he/she picking up new things.... *smile*

Quiet down....

Im back to my workforce. Everyday I'm being asked, "Why are you so quiet today?"
If not I heard, "I don't even know Rachel is around coz she's too quiet."

I'm always so quiet, don't I?

Yes. I'm selective. I can be very talkative, humorous n even crazy. I behaved that way in front of my family, my close friends like Jacmama, Joyce n Animalfamilyz. I just can't be what I am infront of my colleagues.

Why am I thinking so much n making myself so miserable?
Beside being selective, I'm so sensitive. I believe in my guts feeling.
Things have change after I gone back to work. I no longer feel close to who I always be with. I felt distant when I'm with them.

Problems lies with me? I'm not able to speak up or I don't want to speak up?
I also hope I can "click" with them. Ok, in fact I cant help myself from over-thinking. I heard much on how they comment on other. So lead to I don't want to speak up, I have process everything thru my big mind 1st before I talk or I act.

I do afraid ppl gossip behind my back. I can't simply ignore how ppl think abt me. That's me!

Are colleagues impt? To some of you, maybe No! For me, definitely Yes! Impt!
For a good 8hrs each day, a total of 5 days you have to spend your time with them. Even lunchtime there's someone to acc you for lunch. Colleagues help you to pass faster each day, each hr, every minutes & every single second.....

Thats provided they likes you and give u a easy time. Rite? Of coz, my colleagues din't me a hard time at all. After all, my role with time is always a listener. I listen to their joke, watching their playfulness. Its still fun to hang around with them.

Sigh. Pray I can survive another week before weekends come.

Changes...

Have the urge to change of environment. What kind of environment am I refering to? Work? Home? or some others?

Maybe ALL!

As for home, still have to wait till next year.....
AS for work, I just ended my maternity leave. Issit becoz I have to re-adapt to my jobscope + envrionment, I dont feel quite comfortable. Maybe should give myself some time to adapt to it.
As for lifestyle, now have addn member, my Baby Skyler, so after work is to go home. No time for frens or other activities eg. shopping, ktv, movies!!

So looking forward to weekends...*sigh*

妈妈不好当

It's not ez to be a mother. I'm not trying to complain here.
I know it jus past two months for being a mummy of one.
Not jus toking abt joyous stuffs. I still have lots to learn, to face sadness, anger n more worries.

I thot I'm ready to be a mum. But I'm actually not.
Physically n mentally not well prepare.
Hmmm...还有很长的路要走，还有很多等着我去经历...

好想喊累啊!!!

Money, 金钱

钱，重不重要？
it's important to have cash!
But Money 生不带来死不带去。
它会让亲情、友情、爱情起了变化。
没钱似乎万万不能

钱少的话就过贫穷及简单生活
钱多的话就过富裕及奢华生活

我希望我是。。。我能。。。

不要鸡婆

我对所有的Aunties们感到反感。
我的所做所为，无论是对是错，不须向你们交代。

我觉得做人好难：那是我不懂如何解决。
我也觉得做人好累：那是因为我很懒。

Aunties们，不要在鸡婆了！
管好你们自己的家事，别来惹我！
我不须听你们的闲言闲语和废话！！

Boredom

So boring staying @ home.

Tml is my cousin Ah Hong Jie customary wedding. Hereby wish her all the best, blissful marriage, faster have a baby~ I cant attend her wedding due to chinese tradition...avoid crashing of happy occassion~

Spent half a day sitting infront of computer, help my mum to transfer songs to her iPhone. Uploading Skyler's pix, blogging etc...

Tml Hubby n I have to take care of Skyler ourselves. Mum going to attend my cousin lunch wedding. Most prob will be bring Skyler out for a walk. Im so sick of staying @ Home.

This coming fri will be going town with my sis to get mooncake & have a gd lunch.
Maybe do a little shopping if there's enough time.

Jus wanna mention here incase some of you dint notice I've link some blogger (@ the right panel) I have other blogs: ~
- www.happiness-rainbowz.blogspot.com (Hubby & I)
- www.ourbabyskyler.com (My baby boy)

Enjoyed a day out

Enjoyed my day out with Hubby n baby.
Bought 1 jumper, 1 dress, 2shorts. Some of my clothings can't fit in le. Now have to wear L or XL whereby last time I wear size M. Sigh. Sad. Hubby bought romper for Skyler thou baby had lots of clothes. Kekez.
We managed to find Dibo plush toy for Titus as his bday present. Hubby din buy anything for himself. He seems unhappy. Lol. He feels is tiring to bring baby out. But for me, I do enjoyed n like bring Skyler with me.

Today is the 1st time we both bring him out without my mum tagging along. I'm
glad I can do it without my mum help. Manage to pacify him when he cried. *phew.

Of coz there's more to learn....to be a mummy... A gd mummy...

Love Paradise by Kelly Chan

You're always on my mind
All day just all the time
You're everything to me
Brightest star to let me see
You touch me in my dreams
We kiss in every scene
I pray to be with you through rain and shiny days

I'll love you till I die
Deep as sea
Wide as sky
The beauty of our love paints rainbows
Everywhere we go
Need you all my life
You're my hope
You're my pride
In your arms I find my heaven
In your eyes my sea and sky
May life our love paradise

P.S: I simply in love with this song.

Looking forward to next Sunday

I'm looking forward to next Sunday. A small event for my lil prince. Celebrating his 满月。
Time flies. He is 2week n 3days old.

What have I learnt:
- how to carry him
- how to make formula milk（泡奶）
- to bottle feed him with milk
- to burp him after each feeding
- to change diaper

Still got more to learn~ how to be a gd mummy.
- to bath him ( need alot of courage )
- start lesson with him ( schooling )
- etc.

I'm officially a Mummy now!!

Yea. I'm a mummy now~
My baby is 1week 4days old now.
Learning n tryin to enjoy parenthood.

My boy name Skyler.
D.O.B 19th July 2010
Place of Birth: Mount Alvernia Hospi

He go home on the same day with mummy. (Thank God)
Just hope he stay healthy and grow well each day.
Be a well-behaved & adorable baby boy.

Its amazing feeling that in one moment he is still inside my tum tum, the next moment he is in my arm.

I love you, son.

Mummy's bday~

Mum's bday celebration with family @ Ichiban Sushi~ A week earlier due to she has a dance performance @ Bt Timah.

On her actual bday, Hubby decided to bring mum to Cafe Cartel for breakfast.
The below shared by mum n me~

Hubby's

Mum's performance outfit

She said she don't want a cake. Coz she will be back home late that nite.
We still surprised her with a tiny one~

A real tiny small one~

我的心情....

Am I prepared to "pop" baby out now?

Body system down~ Consulted Dr Ong regards to what can I do?
His reply was "There's nothing you can do, not by diet or anything...."

He is preparing me (mentally) for the worst.....
What I will be facing / might be going thru during the delivery~
I told my gynae during my last routine check-up, "I dont think I will have courage to carry the 2nd child..."
His reply was, "If I can go bring you thru this pregnancy, if everything going to be safe...you can go ahead and plan for the 2nd child..."

I'm upset, scared, tired, emotional......
Going thru.....
1st trimester: Hugging toilet bowl, nauseous, throwing up...
2nd & 3rd trimester: Going thru all the tests, facing all the negative results.....

Maybe gestational diabetes due to my diet..considering is my own fault for sweet cravings.....
High chances I will get it again for next pregnancy.....
Blood counts fall, failing iron (its normal) also my diet, as I don't take red meat.....but now i do~
For this pregnancy, I started to eat more beef, take iron pills....
But just don't know why I still fail the test.....okie, Fine!
What abt platelets blood counts falls?....telling me I cant do anything abt it? Sigh. Telling me system couldnt produce (during my pregnancy) ......

If my platelets count con'd to fall below avg, Dr Ong will send me to specialist~
Before i deliver bb, I have to go thru blood transfusion....
There will be specialist stand by for me~
Just incase I cant stop bleeding profusely....
Maybe no epidural for me....or they will be extra careful when inject me with epidural~
Just incase bloodcot in my spine~
After hearing all these worst scenario, it sounds real scary to me~

I seriously think thats enough for me!

Hope & Pray~ Waiting for the day bb come to this world....
Hoping everything will be fine for me n him~
Both of us will get thru this~

I know everyone will just say to me "Be positive! Everything will be just fine"
Its really hard, you know? To stay positive after going thru all these shit~

*sigh*

Canton-I @ Ion

We took half day leave and went Shopping!

My Sis~
The Preggy Me~

The food was not that bad. Reasonable pricing too~

My nephew

Now Titus will called me "Ah Yi...."

Instead of "Yi...." or maybe sometimes he is just "Eeeeee...." At least now i know he is calling me...

But without fail, till now he saw my mole on my neck, he will say "dirty...dirty..."
He saw my hairy hand...he will also "dirty dirty..."
*fainted*

Failed Again?

Being called back for another blood test.....

2 weeks ago had a blood test (a sudden one), its becoz a few months ago (i think beginning of my 2nd trimester) I failed the iron test. So they wants to check and make sure the iron pills they gave me did helps.

End up, i still failed the test. And failed even badly then the previous time.
(THIS PROVED THAT THE IRON PILLS DINT HELP AT ALL)
Fine!

2 days ago called me to inform that beside I failed the iron blood test. My blood platelets goes lower den usual. (Normal person range 150 - 400) That time i did the test I score 210~
Now, (DONT NOE WHY) I fall under the range (100 only nia)

So they wan me to undergo another blood test.

I feel sux! Super moody. Super sian! Each blood test cost me 50bucks! U say wan to draw my blood den just draw as u like....I have to undergo the pain, the stress & the money. ARGH!

Each time telling myself, my bb coming to this world, everything gg to be just fine....

But each time there's disappointment out there for me to face it! I cant convince myself.
I cant be happy.....

Sudden Unwell

Just 30mins and I cant wait. NO! Not me! Is my stomach / gastric cant wait.

Sudden felt my gastric pain. Den nausea, den went to toilet vomitted.

Whole stomach seems like stirring. Feel like wanna LS.

Now only can observe if the pain con'd. If my bb cond to move.

Stomach pain do freak me out.

Im feeling....

Weak! strengthless! Tired! Heavy!

Can somebody help me?! I just wan to lie in bed.
This morning woke up feeling very heavy.
I'm so sleepy.....

26th bday

Had wonderful birthday this yr. With SFS colleagues, Jacmama, Family. Hmmm...and my baby inside me. *smile*

Doing well

Yes, Im maintaining my weight. Hope it doesnt increase till 1st June.
Im starting to eat salad. VEGETABLES! Everyone who noes me know that I dont eat veg at all. Except brocolli. kekekz. Maybe cabbage in soup. Sambal with kangkong...Thats all.

Im looking forward to my b-day. This fri meeting Jacmama. Sunday will be with family celebrating my bday.

Im so craving for ice-cream n cakes. But I cant have much of those. Maybe a small slice of cakey. A few mouth of ice-cream. Thats all. *sadded*

3rd day

Its the 3rd day I followed Dietitian's diet.
Have to do self-pricking blood glucose test tdy.
7 times a day: Before and after breakfast,
Before and after lunch,
Before and after dinner,
Lastly, before supper.

I pass the before breakfast range. But I failed the after breakfast range by 0.2. WHY?
I failed the before lunch range. WHY? I guess must be something do with my snack @ tea-break. But I'm allow to eat 1 slice of wholemeal bread during tea-break. Sigh
I'm at the border line for after lunch.

I follow the diet closely. I tried to eat less for each meal. STILL DIN'T WORK FOR ME.

Today, baby didnt move that much, didnt perform any kungfu fighting stunts does make me worry.

I sat on the toilet bowl, poking my tummy, asking him to kick kick me. HE DID! He "replied".
I'm glad he react to me.

Feeling pretty bad

Im feeling down. I knew no point crying. But I cant help it.

Yeap. I hit jackpot. I've got gestational diabetes. I failed the glucose test.

I'm feeling unsure if my baby going to be alright.
Thou doc said it mild. I failed by 0.1~

How can I not worried? How can I not feeling scare?
Its definitely not what I want.

For sure my hubby, my mum, my parents-in-law going to blame me on it.
I dont feel like going home. Coz I don't want all the nagging from them.

I cant hold back my tears. Crying non-stop doesnt help anything better.

I'm always looking forward to the day he come to this world....
Now, Im scare the day come....
I cant imagine he might have to undergo some extra test just becoz his mummy has G.D.

My mood will highly affect him for now, for today~

Breathless moment

The incident happened tdy during lunch time....

Me & my colleagues were waiting for a lift to go back to office after lunch.
Then first a man entered the lift, the door is closing~
I knew he did pressed the open button.
Now, the door opened again, so im next to enter.
Who know the door stuck half way open n closing again~ The lift door hit my hand

My colleagues yelled loudly. They thot the door hit my tummy.
Everyone was looking at me! I felt so pai sei~
The very moment I hold my breathe~ Kekekz.

I was stunted by their yelling

Nephew goes to School...

Sunday, accompanied my sis n Titus to go @ kinderland. So nice to c him attending sch. kekez...
He's cute. Real cute.

This yr, we din go to pray my dad. Two Son-In-Law acc my mum there.

We all meet at Causeway Pt crystal jade for lunch. My mum treat. *drool*

I bought the 1st clothes for my BB!! *excited*

At nite, mum prepared Bird nest for me. *yummy*

The above are the brief summary for my Sunday....

When the East meet the West....

Or should i say Journey to the West? Kekekz...

Animalz Family members (Xueying, Nicole, Reuben) came to BPP (west) from the Tamp, SK, (East)

Thanks guys! So nice to have a dinner with u all. Too bad Adam dint come....

Hope u guys will come to BP again soon~ kekekz.

Sudden....

有突然想哭的感觉....

Worries....

Start to worry abt my health....my diet...

Worries lead to nightmares....

Not slping well at nite....

Tried my best not to be pessimistic....Not to worry so much....

Afterall, is hard not to worry....

Shopped for my BB

Bought milk bottles steam sterilizer @ Taka BB fair....
Its a package - there's milk bottles, pacifier etc....

2 Disney Mickey Mouse Jacket, Baby Bjorn carrier, Capella BB Stroller @ OG.....

Cant' wait for to start buying bb clothes at the later stage. (",)

5th month plus.....

Went for detail scan cum 3D scan ytd @ Mt E.

BB doing fine...just that he is very active....
He is "dancing" around till doc also laughed at him...

3D scan get to see his looks...
We think that his nose resemble his dad, my hubby...kekez...

Everything was gd except when I heard I might not be able to go for natural birth...
This makes me feel quite worried n sad....
Hope things turn better in the later stage of this pregnancy.....
I do hope I will have this precious chance for natural birth....

Roller coaster ride

Life is full of ups & downs.....

Working life occupied a big part of my life, as 5 out of 7 days we are working...
So colleagues are very impt....if we surrounded by nasty ppl....life going to be miserable....
I wont say I'm surrounded by NASTY ones.... But the FAKEd ones are pretty many ard me....

Sianzz!

As time goes by, u will find yourself becoming like them....
Or should I say I'm revengeful? whahaha....coz how ppl treat me, i will treat back them the same!

A mother-to-be shouldnt be bothered by them so much....
All I want is to look forward and welcome my bb to this world.....

2 more mths from now....my birthday is coming.....
3 more mths from now....my ROM & customary wedding anniversary
4 more mths from now....my baby is coming to this world.....

Cracking my head....

Another month passed.....now at Week 18~
Ytd get to see bb again....
BB is doing well...growing well..

We get to know bb's gender....
Couldn't slp well at nite, coz im thinking names for bb....
Thou I still have aproxi ~21 weeks (~5 months) to think n decide....

Obviously, daddy n mummy-to-be are very excited and looking forward to the bb born...

Plus Titus, my cutie nephew will soon have a new playmate.

My nephew

Rmb that i blogged on my nephew regards to his new bag? Here the pix I grabbed from my sis.

Look at my lovely cutie nephew, Titus~

Again....

An hour just past....once again....run to toilet...

My backache....gastric pain....

Want to hug toilet bowl n CRY!

I need to endure with this.....

I can pass thru this miserable time~ Can I really do that?.....

Feeling moody.....

Had went for blood test & detailed scan for Bb.
On the same day, get to know that have to inject for H1N1 (which they said is complusory, my colleague said is not)
Anyway, after the injection I was feeling unwell...my hand was in pain...couldnt slp at nite.....

BB did not corporate with us that nite....
Doc need bb to lie horizontally, but bb is in vertical (head down, body up) position....
Doc give up after some time, asked us to go for a drink den come back fr the scan again....

So we did, went for a drink....talk to bb....to ask bb to corporate with us...
Abt 20 mins later we went back for the scan....
Phew~ BB finally lying down horizontally....(Well done, baby)

Beside suffering from arm pain, my tummy was in pain too.
The doc press real hard during the scan for a clear view (plus my tummy got alot of "wind")....

From this moring onward, beside taking folic acid, have to take calcium and vitamin tablets. Those tablets are big....
Cant help myself from feeling sad~ feel like cry when taking med.....
The most saddening is.....once i reached office.....All out in toilet bowl (Puke)....

*sobz*

My adorable Nephew

My sis bought a pooh bear bag for him....
He simply loved the bag.....
This morning he happily carrying his bag and came to our hse....
Showing off his bag (2 barney plushes in his bag)....

I asked him, "You wanna go to school?"....
He nodded with a smile.....

He is just a 15 months kid....
How cute he is....

Movie

Im goin to catch a movie: Hachiko.....

Headache

My head gonna explode......*pain*

Meanwhile... we are waiting for 20th Jan to come.....